Breaking Burnout, Disrupting Default Living, and Rewriting the Rules with Hema Crockett

mgraziano45
16 minutes ago
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Have you ever found yourself in burnout? Or maybe you’ve spent every day just going through the motions, until you finally asked yourself, Is this really what I want in life? Today’s guest on Adventures in Business is well acquainted with the feeling, and she’s an expert in helping people break out of it. Read on for advice from author, speaker, and coach Hema Crockett, as she shares how she helps women break free from burnout and default living.

Hema Crockett’s Definition of Burnout

For Hema, burnout is about disconnection. It’s going through the motions of life while feeling completely detached from what you’re doing. It’s living your own life but feeling like a spectator. It’s random crying mixed with rage.

She shared a powerful personal story from her corporate career, where long hours, values misalignment, and questionable leadership behaviors slowly drained her. Even while “succeeding” on paper, she felt empty. She described crying in the shower, screaming in the car, then putting on a smile and walking back into work like everything was fine.

That moment made her realize: there had to be more to life than this.

The Life “Order of Operations” We’re All Taught

We’re all taught life’s order of operations: Go to school. Go to college. Get a job. Get married. Buy a house. Have kids. Retire.

Hema explained how deeply ingrained this sequence is, and how rarely we stop to question it. For her, that questioning came during an intense and emotional IVF journey during the pandemic… which led to her realization that she didn’t actually want kids. When she told her husband, his response surprised her even more: he felt the same way.

She realized how much of her life had been guided by conditioning, expectations, and “shoulds,” especially as a woman. That realization paved the way for her coaching now.

Disrupting Default

This is where the idea of disrupting default comes in. Default living is autopilot living. It’s doing things because that’s how they’ve always been done. It’s buying the house, chasing the title, or sticking with a lifestyle without ever asking: Is this what I actually want?

Hema likened it to driving a car. At first, you’re hyper-aware of every move. Over time, you stop thinking about it… you just drive. Life works the same way. Disrupting default means putting up a stop sign.

Coaching Through Burnout, Disengagement, and Change

Hema’s coaching practice focuses on helping people move from disengagement and burnout into connection and purpose. The work starts by uncovering conditioning, limiting beliefs, and unconscious patterns, and then asking a powerful question: At what cost?

From there, clients sit in what she calls a change or choice point. It’s an intentionally uncomfortable space where clients don’t have to change – but they do have to choose. And that awareness alone is often transformational.

One of her most meaningful success stories wasn’t even about career change. It was about a client healing a long-strained relationship with her mother. That’s when burnout revealed itself not as a work issue, but a life-wide one.

Hema Crocket on Why New Year’s Resolutions Are a Scam

Hema says that resolutions are often based on external expectations, short-term willpower, and unrealistic timelines. When life inevitably gets in the way, we blame ourselves instead of the system.

Instead, Hema encourages people to focus on what’s important, not what’s performative. Instead of resolutions, start with the outcome you want this year, then work backwards. That way, you’ll avoid the guilt and shame when life happens and you don’t hit your resolutions perfectly.

Hema’s Advice for Women Feeling Stuck

So many people (especially women) reach a point where they feel trapped in a job, a role, or a rhythm of life. Often, they don’t even realize they’re stuck until burnout sets in.

So what’s one small thing someone can do to start moving again? Hema shared two simple practices.

1. Pause. We live in a loud, reactive world. Before you buy, agree, respond, or commit… pause. Even five or ten seconds can shift you from reacting to choosing.

2. Say “no” once a day. Especially for women, “yes” often comes automatically, even when we don’t know how we’ll make it work. But that constant yes feeds burnout and keeps us on the hamster wheel.