How to Say What You Mean Without Being Mean: Lessons with Sarita Maybin

On this episode of Adventures in Business, Amani and Mandi chat with a true legend in the speaking world: Sarita Maybin. Sarita is a professional speaker, author, and expert in navigating tough conversations with grace. 

Sarita shares her journey from working in higher education at Old Dominion University to stepping onto the professional speaking stage, how she realized speaking was her true calling, and wisdom from her signature topic: difficult conversations and how to say what you mean without being mean. 

A Dream Job in Higher Ed

Before she was commanding stages with her keynotes, Sarita was living her dream at Old Dominion University. With a master’s degree in college administration, her goal was to lead new student programs – and she did just that, spending her summers welcoming students and their families with energy and enthusiasm.

“The energy was just so positive,” Sarita said. “New students, excited parents – I loved being part of that.”

Baptism by Fire: Her First Real Speaking Gig

Though Sarita had been speaking here and there while working in higher ed, her first “official” speaking engagement came thanks to a unique opportunity: a room full of 100 U.S. Marines.

“My husband at the time was in the Marine Corps,” she recalled. “He needed a speaker for a professional development day, and he said, ‘My wife just became a speaker!’ So I talked to a hundred Marine Corps recruiters about time management.”

It was a baptism by fire, but Sarita held her own and realized something powerful: if she could handle that audience, she could handle anything.

From “Side Hustle” to Speaking Career

Sarita didn’t jump straight into professional speaking – she eased in, collecting signs along the way. While working at the university, she often gave free presentations (for mugs, t-shirts, and keychains) and kept hearing a familiar comment: “People would say, ‘You know you missed your calling, right?’”

She started to believe it. And when life circumstances led her to leave her university job, she took a leap. “I thought, I have to do a job search anyway. Why not send out a few videos and see if someone thinks I’m worthy?”

That “why not” moment turned into a contract with a seminar company – and the start of a brand-new chapter as a full-time speaker.

Talking About Tough Stuff

One of the areas Sarita is best known for? Helping people handle difficult conversations with grace. Whether it's negotiating contracts or navigating workplace tension, she’s built a career teaching people how to say what they need to say – without burning bridges.

For anyone who is afraid of tough conversations, her advice is simple: don’t take it personally.

“We often assume someone’s behavior is about us,” she said. “But it usually isn’t. They’re just doing what they do – and we make it personal. Giving people the benefit of the doubt can change everything.”

How to Ask for Referrals 

Referrals are often the lifeblood of a successful business—especially in the world of professional speaking. But asking for them can feel awkward. Here’s how Sarita does it in a way that feels natural and authentic.

Clients don’t always realize how important referrals are to a speaker’s business. So Sarita makes a point to ask directly, especially when she’s in conversation after a keynote or during onsite networking.

Here’s an example of what she might say:

“This has been such a fun group at this conference. Who are your colleagues in other states who bring in speakers? Would you mind sharing their names or contact info?”

By keeping it conversational, she avoids the hard sell – but still plants the seed.

Don’t Forget the Audience

Many of Sarita’s referrals don’t come from her direct clients. They come from the audience members who see her speak.

That’s why she intentionally includes subtle cues during her presentations, like:

“You all might know some people who could benefit from this – please spread the good word!”

She also makes it easy for them to stay connected by giving out a takeaway card with her info and a QR code that leads to more communication tips and her monthly newsletter.

That monthly touchpoint is often what prompts people to reach out months – or even years – after they first saw her speak.

How to Keep the Pipeline Full

One of the biggest lessons Sarita has learned came during the year she wrote her first book. She focused so much on writing that she let her networking and outreach slide – and it showed in her bottom line.

She explains: “You can’t not be networking. There is no rest for the weary… What you do or don’t do this year will show up in your calendar next year.”

The speaking world often books months (or even a year) in advance, so consistent relationship-building is key to long-term success.

Sarita's Advice to Her Younger Self

To wrap up the episode, Amani flipped the question back to Sarita: What advice would she give her younger self?

Her answer? Follow the clues.

As a psychology major at the University of Maryland, Sarita never imagined herself as a full-time speaker. But early signs were there – like being pegged as a future stand-up comedian by her orientation team. Over time, she realized her ability to blend humor and difficult topics was more than a party trick – it was a professional superpower.

“One of my superpowers is to be able to do the difficult topics, but make it fun, upbeat, and light.”

That combination of insight and levity became the hallmark of her speaking career. And as she and Amani joked, humor isn’t optional if you want to get paid as a speaker:

“Do you have to use humor to be a professional speaker? Only if you want to get paid.”

Connect with Sarita Maybin

🔗 Watch Sarita Maybin’s TEDTalk and visit her website